Well, Of Course I'm Polish!

What do old, toothless men, Ricky Martin, and John Amato have in common? Why, they all love sausage! But not just any sausage, obviously I'm talking about the Polish kind. Still confused? Fill in this rhyme. Ooo-sa-sa-sa! Ooo-sa-sa-sa! Hit him in the head with a big _______! Now we're talking.
Of course I brought Devin, Manion, and Spies with me to share my adventure. Who else would play Bingo with me in a church basement? Sable doesn't count. She's a dog and she obviously cannot place the tiddly-winks on her card with that kind of precision, and you know it! Plus, she sometimes likes to roll in dead fish.
So, what am I doing with cranky, rotton-toothed Ned? Why, we're polkaing! We can thank Manion for getting us into this. He lied and told the man it was his birthday so Stanley's meat market would sing "Stolat" to him. And then the guy wanted a kiss and to cop a little rump feelage. I can't blame him though, I'm just so windswept and sassy.